| i have succumbed. did i spell that right? |
[08 Apr 2005|10:55pm] |
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Steven Lynch on Comedy Central. |
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A - Accent: American? I don't really have one. I can fake an accent pretty well, though.
B - Breast size: 36C.
C - Chore you hate: Umm. That would be ALL of them.
D - Dad's name: John Anthony Goff.
E - Essential make-up: Black eyeliner. How trendy of me.
F - Favourite perfume/cologne: Abercrombie 8 for Women.
G - Gold or Silver: Silver.
H - Hometown: Fort Worth.
I - Insomnia: No. I just force myself to stay awake for some people.
J - Job title: Blockbuster Shift Leader.
K - Kids: Eve, Anne Bonney, Pharoah, Ruby Tuesday, and Veruca Salt.
L - Living arrangements: Me and my dad. And my animals.
M - Mom's birthplace: Olympia, Washington.
O - Overnight hospital stays: When I was born. And when I had surgery on my ankle after I shattered it skateboarding.
P - Phobia: Being buried alive.
Q - Favorite Quote: too many to list.
R - Religious affiliation: meh.
S - Siblings: Angela (thirty-something), Ashton (16), Corey (13).
T - Time you wake up: Sometime after noon.
U - Unnatural hair colours you've worn: Fire engine red. Burgundy. Blue-black.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: None of them.
W - Worst habit: Pessimism.
X - X-rays you've had: Ankle. Orthodontist.
Y - Yummy foods you make: Spaghetti and meatballs.
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries.
p.s. ethan has cool hair.
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| i love the mooninites. |
[06 Apr 2005|08:54am] |
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 tired |
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme. |
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so i bought all three seasons of aqua teen hunger force. it's possibly the most awesome thing ever.
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| recap recap recap. |
[29 Mar 2005|03:20pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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"I Play Dead" - Demon Hunter. |
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so yesterday was my 22nd birthday. woofrickin'hoo. i didn't even think my mom was gonna call me to wish me a happy birthday. but she called about 1 PM. i could tell she had been or was about to cry. she said happy birthday and that she couldn't afford to buy me anything. so i asked her what was wrong. apparently my sister (who just turned 16 almost two weeks ago) totalled her truck (2002 ford lightning) on friday night. she's fine. and to top it off, my stepdad moved out of the house on easter sunday. so needless to say my mom is pretty tore up. my stepdad owns his own business and my mom is used to being able to afford things. but with him out of the picture, my mom will only be making half as much money. so who knows if she will be able to keep the house or her car or buy ashton another car. everything is still up in the air right now since it has only been two days, but you never know how it will turn out.
anyways, i hung out over at my mom's until my brother and sister got home cuz i didn't want her to be alone. so we all talked and laughed and got my mom's mind off of allan leaving, at least for awhile. then i came home and my aunt gave me $40 for my birthday. then i waited for patrick to get out of class so we could do something for my birthday. when he got here, he took me to eat abuelo's. it was really good. he let me be a slightly expensive date. it was fun. and it was really nice not having to pay for everything. we came back to my house and watched napoleon dynamite, and then went to quiktrip to get coffee. we hung out for a long time and i'll leave out the mushy details for the ones of you with weak stomachs, haha. then he finally left at around 3 AM, even though he had to get up at 8 for work, and had a 45 minute drive ahead of him. i can't even begin to explain how much i love being with him. it's crazy.
well, it's time for me to get ready for work. and i so don't want to go back. i've been off since friday afternoon and it feels so nice. i want to lounge around the house and be lazy forever.
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| blah. |
[28 Mar 2005|12:21pm] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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happy birthday to me..
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[20 Mar 2005|01:33am] |
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mood |
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 impatient. |
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music |
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Funeral For a Friend. |
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i now have a boyfriend. and my birthday is on the 28th of this month. i'll be 22. what are you getting me?
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[16 Mar 2005|02:38pm] |
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| craptastic. |
[05 Mar 2005|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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"Absolution" - Muse |
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work yesterday was very good and very bad at the same time. wow.
so.. i found out my store manager at blockbuster is quitting. which sucks. hardcore. cuz he's really the only reason i still work there. if it hadn't been for him being so cool, i would have quit a long time ago. but yeah, he's quitting.
that = bad.
he also told me that i was up for review (after being in our district leader's office for like.. half an hour) and that i was getting a raise. $8 an hour, here i come.
that = good.
and i always said if my store manager left, i'd transfer to a gamerush store where i could keep my piercings and wear jeans to work. well.. he's leaving, so i'm putting in a transfer in about 2 weeks. this could be both good and bad, but for the sake of the post..
that = good.
tonight is the greatness in tragedy show, and i promised kirk and kristin i would go, so that's probably what i will do. if lloyd is feeling better, i'll take him with me. otherwise i guess i will try and find someone else to go cuz i hate going to dallas by me onesies. anyways.. i'm gonna continue sitting here with a q-tip up my nose to clean my piercing. wee.
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| my feelings and my meanings are ocean-size, long before i ever met you.. |
[01 Mar 2005|01:38pm] |
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"Ocean Size" - Goldfinger. |
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i don't ever have anything important enough to put in here anymore. no one reads it, no one responds to it, and there's no point in me writing in it for myself because i know what's going on in my head. most of the time. so let's see.. what interesting things have happened lately.
-some guy fell in and out of love with me over the course of a week, or so.
-i got my nostril pierced. it made my eyes water, and it hurt.
-lauren put blonde streaks in my hair. everyone likes it.
-saw hawthorne heights and the early november on v-day with lloyd. first non-crappy v-day ever.
-caught kristin, the warner bros. records rep, at the hawthorne show and got back into the street team stuff.
-went to the eisley show with lauren and she helped me pass out a buttload of stickers.
-went to the greatness in tragedy street team meeting with lloyd, got more stuff to pass out and impressed kirk (the singer) cuz i'm so badass.
-went to the secret machines show with lloyd and passed out every sticker kristin had given me.
-made plans with kristin to go with her around to all her record stores and put up displays cuz she wants me to take over as the dallas market rep when she resigns.
-went to see craig (piercer at a beautiful body) with lloyd and got my nose piercing switched out for the star i ordered. it hurt sooooo bad when he pulled out my first piercing cuz there was a HUGE BOOGER stuck to it, and it pulled out of the hole. god, it hurt.
-watched movies and ate pizza with lloyd. and hit him in the peener. and made his guts hurt. it was funny.
anyways, that's really it. i think i am gonna be looking for a new job soon because blockbuster is starting to get on my nerves. the store manager is being a dickhead.
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| valentines day.. |
[15 Feb 2005|03:44am] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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hawthorne heights. again. shut up. |
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is the most worthless excuse for a holiday ever. just another reason for me to want to kill things.
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[07 Feb 2005|11:42am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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Hawthorne Heights. |
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i knew nothing good could come of it. i should have seen it from the beginning. but whatever. i give up. i don't know what to do anymore. i feel like i am completely unlovable. it sucks so bad. he said he's not ready for a relationship AFTER he told me he loved me. it blows my mind. there's NO reason for this to bug me as much as it does. but it bothers the SHIT out of me. he said he's not over his ex, but he still wants to see me. what the hell.. boys are so fucking confusing. why can't i find a guy who isn't a drama queen? jesus. the only good thing that came of last night was lloyd calling to cheer me up. that was really nice of him. he's a nice guy and he sees through my bitchy front. hmm. i dunno. i'm so confuuuuuuuuuuused. goddamn i hate guys sometimes. maybe this is a case of the nice guy being right in front of me and i refuse to see him. but if that was the case, i wouldn't realize it, right? argh. i dunno. i want to stop thinking now. okay. bye.
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| you know you do, you kill me well.. |
[27 Jan 2005|02:52am] |
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music |
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"The Silence In Black And White" - Hawthorne Heights. |
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he says "i love you" on accident. + 1,000,000 awesome points. he hates short hair, but says my hair is cute.
p.s. my hair looks really good. lauren says i look 'scene'. plus i have a white belt. man, i suck. in a good way.
pictures to follow.. someday.
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| photobucket rules. |
[25 Jan 2005|01:57am] |
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 excited |
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music |
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"Megan 2k2" - Reggie & The Full Effect. |
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ashley's picture for me. hehe.
I. comment and i'll pick one of your LJ interests and draw a picture for you.
II. you have no say in what i draw for you. or how good or bad it will be.
III. put this in your journal with the picture i drew for you.
IV. rinse/repeat.
p.s. photobucket added a new feature where you can post picture entries in your journal straight from the website. it's blog-a-licious. god, i am so lame.
also.. 4 days!
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| you're so twisted.. if you swallowed a nail, you'd shit a corkscrew. |
[24 Jan 2005|01:37pm] |
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irritated |
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Garden State soundtrack. |
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i don't know why i'm posting, i just am. i already did this entry once, and my browser ate it. thank you, yahoo. anyways. i'm sitting here while my laundry washes, waiting for my chicken and dumplings to be ready because i'm hungry. you know, i wish i had the self-discipline of an anorexic. cuz then i'd be skinny. maybe too skinny, but any skinny is better than where i am right now. i think tomorrow i am going to go see about getting a membership at 24hour fitness. i need to get into shape. well.. better shape than 'lumpy' anyways. heh. if i had been around when pin-up girls were all the rage, i wouldn't have this problem. back then girls like me were viewed as voluptuous, beautiful even. now we're fat. just fat. beautiful today is skinny, with bones poking out and no boobs. why is that pretty? how is it a turn-on to be able to see a girl's ribs through her chest? man, i don't think i will ever understand. what is pretty about a skeleton with skin stretched over it? *sigh* i hate the media. and i hate the modern idea of beauty. anyways, i'm done with this rant. i got other stuff to tend to. at least i have a nice rack!
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| no more late fees? |
[24 Jan 2005|01:25am] |
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 worried |
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"Let It Enfold You" - Senses Fail. |
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god, i hate that commercial. anyhow..
i hate being unsure of myself. it makes me miss out on a lot of things and i wish i could just make this self-loathing turn into self-confidence but it never works. lauren says i seem confident but i don't see it. when it comes to guys, i never think i'm good enough for the ones i really like. like the one i am waiting for right now. i say waiting for because he's in san antonio and we have never met in person. but we talk EVERYDAY and he just seems so wonderful. not flawless wonderful, by any means, because we all know no one's perfect. but he is so sweet to me. and i don't feel like i am good enough for him. like when he comes back to fort worth he will decide he doesn't care about me as much as he does now. i don't know. maybe i'm just worried over nothing. he says he's not shallow, but i don't think i am much to look at so i don't know if he will like me. i don't want him to be thinking in the back of his mind that he could do so much better.. or that he wished i looked like some of the hot girls he's been with. i dunno. i just hate being self-conscious. i want to be confident and know that i am pretty, rather than wondering if people are going to stop talking to me because of the way i look. it's not even like i'm some kind of hideous beast either. i'm cute. cute is all i get. *sigh* i just want him to want me.
on another note, my dad made chicken and mushrooms for dinner, and although it is 1:30 AM, i am starving because i didn't eat while i was at work. so i'm gonna do that, and go to bed.
guten nacht.
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| jkhklasjdhlaksjdhlakhs. |
[23 Jan 2005|02:05am] |
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mood |
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weird |
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"Signals Over The Air" - Thursday. (Yes, again.) |
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i'm so goddamn frustrated i can't even put the situation into words. but i'm frustrated and i don't like not knowing what is going on. i especially hate it when i can't tell when people are joking or not. fuck this, i'm going to bed. the person this is about doesn't even read my journal so it really does no good posting this here. i just needed to vent. damned boys.
i fucking hate uncertainty.
[/rant]
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| missiles and miles between.. |
[20 Jan 2005|03:49pm] |
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tired |
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"Signals Over The Air" - Thursday. |
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i never have anything to write about anymore. i feel like my life is growing increasingly dull and it totally sucks. all i do is work and sleep. but [name withheld] will be coming back from san antonio next week, i hope. and hopefully he won't be scared stiff by me. i don't think i'm all that bad, and lauren says i'm hot, but for some reason i always meet the horrible, shallow guys who only want girls that weigh 80lbs. i'm sorry. I AM NOT SKINNY. granted, i'm not fat either. i'm somewhere in the middle. big deal. but yeah, hopefully he will be able to see past the fact that my bones don't stick out of my skin. he is so sweet to me, it would suck if he met me and then had no desire to see me again. blah. he says i need to stop being such a pessimist though. i will work on it. i hope i can get him a job at blockbuster. if not, we'll find something. but the fact of the matter is, he's coming back to fort worth to stay. and i will make sure of that. hehe. man i am SO glad i'm off tomorrow. too bad i can't spend it with [name withheld]. hehe. if things work out, i might put his name in future entries. if he lets me.
for now.. i'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for work. blah.
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[18 Jan 2005|12:41pm] |
She Wants to Move by N.E.R.D. |
"Her off beat dance makes me fantasize
(Her curves) She's sexy!!
Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride
(Her ass) She's sexy!!"
In 2004 you got your groove on - and had the best time ever.
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[18 Jan 2005|12:10pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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"Caring Is Creepy" - The Shins. |
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i slit my throat again today
to see if i still bleed
i see your face here everyday
but you've been gone for weeks
it won't hurt so much this time, i said
my blood has tales to tell
but once it all escapes from me
i'll be an empty shell
your face, it haunts my memory
like a bad dream i can't shake
i gave so much, you took it all
now who is there to blame?
blahblahblah. i'll finish this later. i lost my concentration. on a different note, i got my ogo today, which is possible the coolest thing since sliced bread. anyhow, i gotta go get ready to get my car registered, get a haircut, and work from midnight to 3 AM. wee. i'll post in here later. not that anyone reads it.
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| gosh gosh gosh. |
[17 Jan 2005|01:06am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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"Let Go" - frou frou. |
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so lauren got me signed up on this picture-rating match-making website called okcupid.com. anyways.. the first day i got like.. 10 messages, none of which really interested me. then for some reason, my computer started hating okcupid and wouldn't let the site load. ah well. no big deal. but when i finally got it working, i had a message. wee. it was from [name withheld, hehe]. just seeing his pics i was kinda awestruck that he messaged me. he is SO cute. we started talking on AIM and i have not been able to get this boy out of my head. he occupies 90% of my thoughts (the other 10% work and friends, etc), and when i'm not talking to him, i wish i was. he is so sweet and he keeps getting sweeter. here's the shitty thing. he's in san antonio. which is 227 miles away. why do all the ones that like me live so far away? it makes my heart sad. i am gonna try and get him a job at a blockbuster in fort worth where i know the store manager so that he can come back to fort worth. i'd get him a job at MY blockbuster but that would be too long of a drive, and blockbuster prohibits inter-store "relations". so yeah. the sooner he gets a job up here, the sooner he can come back and i can stalk him. i can't wait. every minute is agonizing. i hung out with alisha and drew tonight, and there were other guys.. but all i could think about was [name withheld, mwahaha.]. all i wanted to do was come home and talk to him. so i did. after alien vs. predator which was a damn good movie. okay. i'm done raving. *happy dance*
p.s. i am worried about my lauren. she needs to call me and tell me what's up!
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